Cry for help

A short request, and appeal to your compassionate natures.

This isn't the first time i've asked you all to help a fellow blogger in distress, but the need is no less great the second time around.

Please go and visit O at Eros, Logos, and do what you can to help. If you can donate, please do. If you can only afford to donate support -- that's also good.

And tell her the Minx sent you. Thanks so much.

Eat shit, Miss Chatty.

I had a lovely surprise the other day.

The Minxdom got reviewed by the lovely Vamp of Jane's Guide.

You may have noticed my new bright and shiny flashing icon over there in the sidebar. *Minxy happy dance*

Here is the verdict of our trip through (decent, worthy, considered and well written) reviewdom.

This blog is the online journal of a woman in a (currently) unfulfilling marriage who talks about her life, fantasies, affairs, attempts at therapy, and erotic creations in a very engaging and emotional style. Her erotic writing is very hot (and frequently romantic), but I found that her very human and open discussion of her feelings about being involved in a difficult marriage and experiencing the tremendous highs and lows associated with affairs to be even more fascinating. - Vamp

* * *

I will explain the title of this post. Some of you may already know what happened to make me feel this way, and have been supportive enough to ignore the occurrence as the rantings of a repressed and pathetic attention-seeking hussy. (Her, not me. Oy vey!)

Something happened a few months ago that I completely ignored, on an "it's better not to feed the trolls basis". The Miss Chatty "review" site gave EOTOS a review that was basically a refusal to review, because I'd submitted more than once. Which I admit to, but since there is no notification or acknowledgement of receipt of submission for review, is, I think, particularly pathetic.

Miss Chatty is well-known as a bitchy site giving bitchy reviews. They do occasionally review with an open mind and with some sense of perspective, but from what I can tell, due to the fickle nature of their reviewers, if one of them got out of bed on the wrong side or missed the last doughnut in the kitchenette on the morning of a review, you've had it.

Anyway, they refused to review the Minxdom, but then proceeded to make bitchy and unpleasant comments about it in the comments section of the refusal post.

Most of the comments were so subjective and stupid, that it was laughable -- and laugh was exactly what I did. One comment, however, stuck in my craw. I even remember the exact phrasing:

"Oo. Erotica. The [insert pathetic title] bitch loves erotica. Euw. Bad erotica. The [insert pathetic title] bitch hates bad erotica."

I mostly managed to laugh this comment off also. After all, Minxy posts -- of erotica, if I need to specify -- had even then already been linked by Bacchus of Eros Blog, and Fleshbot. Both Sam Sugar and Sabrina had commented privately in a most complimentary fashion to me about the nature of my submissions to Sugasm (then Bloggasm). Viviane and Figleaf had seen fit to independently link to EOTOS (I was very flattered at that, btw...) as had many others.

These are all people with intelligence, wit, charm and good looks -- obviously. (Heh.) But they all also represent other less ass-kissy qualities, and the opinion is widely held within the blogging community: worthwhile reading, high quality and that they all definitely know their shit when it comes to sex.

As I say, this helped me get past the initial "what the fuck??!" of my reaction.

But then I thought, okay. These particular review people are, in my opinion, utterly worthless. Their style is that of catty sadists to play in public, high school style (thanks Sabrina!) which I could forgive, had I not seen the disgraceful, moralistic and judgmental fuck-up of a guilt-trip that they -- completely misguidedly and with scant possession of the facts -- threw at Deadly Female. Once I saw that, I had no interest in hearing anything they had to say. I de-linked them then , and I have purposely not linked to them through this article. They have enough publicity to satisfy their over-inflated egos and respective sense of self-importance. If you really want to find them, google.

So I submitted EOTOS to Jane's. A well respected and well written reviewer of sites associated with sex -- blogs and otherwise. Known throughout the blogging community as such, and considered the "Which" (UK consumer quality assurance magazine) of sex site reviewers.

And the result is above. Bad erotica indeed. Eat shit, Miss Chatty. And bite me when you're done.

Don't...

Don't give me that look. Those beautiful blue eyes, imploring, pleading, begging. I can't stay. I wish I could. You know I can't.

Oh alright; five more minutes.

Don't do that. Don't run your finger down my face so gently and under my chin. You know it'll make me want to brush my lips to yours fleetingly, and then settle into a deeply passionate kiss.

Oh, well. If I must, I suppose I mmmmmmmm....

Don't hold me close to you in that way.

Oh you know exactly what way I mean. Don't be cute.

That way that lets me feel your heart against mine. That way that makes me just want to lean all the way into you, and be absorbed into you... and then lie next to you forever, closer than close, breathing in your very essence.

Ohhhh.

Don't -- definitely, don't run your finger down my back like that. You make every nerve ending in my spine stand on end with desire. You send tingles of joy all over me. You send the last vestiges of innocent woman left in my psyche scurrying for the hills, and you know what that leads to...

Don't kiss my neck like that... I'll only find myself nibbling on yours... oh, god... not my breasts... no... not while you kiss my neck... no woman could resist a touch such as yours... certainly not while you caress my breasts and murmur sweet nothings into my neck... no fair... no fair... no.... no... no.... oh yes....

Don't as-if-unintentionally-but-we-both-know-it's-on-purpose hold the bulge of your hot hard cock against my thigh like that. There's only so much a girl can resist. How do you expect me to restrain myself? How can I not reach down to stroke it, like a small and eager lapdog, feeling it bristle with joy as I do? Tell me, what do you want from me?

You see? I told you. I knew this would happen. Now I'm half-undressed and headed lips-first for your cock. Don't. Don't. I haven't got time for this, I must go, there's a meeting, I have to go, I'll be late for my mmmmmmm...

Oh god... no... you can't do that... I'll never leave if you do that...

oh god... your tongue.... oh, your neck... oh, your teeth.... oh, my god.

oh.... oh.... my clit.... oh, oh your hands... oh, oh your lips... oh, oh ohhhh....

oh, my lips.... oh, your cock... oh, oh, your balls...

oh god... oh yes... yes.... yes.... YES.

Don't... don't.... don't....

....ever stop.

Meme'd by the Deadly Female

Four movies you would watch over and over:

• Grease
• Young Frankenstein
• Tootsie
• Singin' in the rain
  (I can't count)
• Private Benjamin
• Pulp Fiction
• Blazing Saddles
• Shrek

Four places you have lived:

• Cambridge
• London
• Kibbutz
• University halls of residence

Four TV shows you love to watch

• Casualty
• Little Britain
• Vicar of Dibley
• Lost
  (I still can't count)
• Two pints of lager and a packet of crisps
• American Idol auditions -- damn, that is some hilarious shit.

Four places you have been on vacation

• Philadelphia
• Barcelona
• Amsterdam
• New York

Four websites you visit daily (apart from Deadly Female who is naturally included)

• The Holiday Life
• A woman of many parts
• Curbed Enthusiasm
• Naked Thoughts
• Mermaid Girl

Actually -- as well as all of those, i will always try to visit anyone on my blogroll with an update. I have even been known to search through the comments to see why they appear as updated but no new post is shown...

Plus the few people on my blogroll whose blogs don't register an update on the blogroll. Because, you know, that'd be too fucking easy. Crazy, Alex and Suze ... i'm talking to you. Don't pretend you don't know, turning away and looking all cute and innocent. No, no.

Four of your favorite foods

• Rare, juicy steak
• Anything garlicky
• Sushi (tuna or salmon)
• Any salmon -- smoked, fresh baked... mmm. Yum.

Three bloggers you are tagging:
I did a meme recently, so i'm wondering to myself who i should tag. People often see it as a chore. I rather like memes, you get to find out some really weird shit about people.

Of course, sometimes it's a major case of waaaaaaay TMI...

I tag the Gnat's Trumpet as penance for the cliffhangers and making us wait, and Filthy Rotten Angel, because i love her.

Oh, and the Corporal because i know it'll piss him off and make him rant... and i LOVE when he rants.

You like...?

Take off my suede jacket, and lay it over the chair.

Look at me, take in what you see. Five foot seven inches in heels, blue jeans, snug black low-necked sweater, blonde, curvy... Smiling back at you.

You like?

Take my hand and draw me towards you. Encircle my waist and hold me close to you. Kiss me, and I'll kiss you back.

Deep, sensual and passionate kisses.

One of my hands on your face, the other on your shoulder. Your arms about me, stroking my back. Our bodies pressed close together.

You like?

Break from the kiss momentarily, and pull my sweater over my head. Deftly unhook and remove the black lacy bra beneath. Take my breasts in your hands, in your mouth, softly caress them, adore them.

I'll kiss you again. I'll remove your sweater and pull myself close to you once more.

Unbutton my jeans, and pull them off me. Leave my boots on... Hook your thumbs into my panties, at my hips, and pull them down. Reveal my body to you, as you've dreamed of doing for so long.

I'll now stand naked before you -- apart from the boots. Of course. The famous, almost legendary brown leather cowboy boots. One hand on my hips, head slightly tilted, I'll look at you, a hungry gleam in my eye.

You like?

Divest yourself of your remaining clothes; your pants, your loafers... no socks, no underwear.

I like.

In a bold and masterful move, take me in your arms. Hold my body close to yours. Move as if to place my hand on your cock, only to find that I've beaten you to it. I'll massage and caress your balls, stroke your shaft, run my elegantly painted nails up to the ridge of your head -- until you shiver with unequivocal delight.

With my other hand, I'll stroke your body, tweaking and squeezing your nipples, stroking and playing with your ass.

I know what you like. I'll do everything you like. If you like, I like.

Feel me, feel my thighs, feel my ass... Bring your hand back round and feel for my hot, wet cunt. Insert your fingers inside me to find them instantly drenched. Lean me back against a wall so that you can feel me better. I'll like that, my knees will be going weak by then.

Drop down and pull me with you. Lay me horizontally -- I'll allow myself to be passive for you. (This time.) Kiss me all the way down my body, on my chin, down my throat, down and around my breasts, down my torso. Stroke my curvy body with your warm and tender hand all the while.

Arrive at the entrance to my apex and announce yourself tongue-first. I'll quiver with unrepressed delight and anticipation. The fulfillment of a long-awaited promise.

You like?

Part my slit with your tongue. Delight in the softness of my skin, and the absence of pubic hair along the lower edges of my vulva. Worship my clit with your mouth. Lick my labia, make love to my entire cunt with your mouth. I'll moan, and whimper. And writhe in ecstasy. And beg and plead for more.

"Oh god... oh yes... don't stop... lick me there... oh... oh.... Oh yes."

Lap at me like there's no tomorrow. Lick me as if your life depended on it. Possess me with your tongue, own me with your mouth, adore my pussy with your soul.

I'll express how I feel with true abandon; as your slut, your lover, your soulmate.

And when I peak -- and you know it's close now -- I'll cry out in joy, cry out my delight, cry out your name...

You like?

Of course you like.