Tagged by Spirit

Well, my very good friend Spirit tagged me to write 6 weird things about myself.

I should point out that it's rare that I ever tell anybody (here or in the real world) anything about myself without them looking askance at me, as if I'd just swallowed a live porpoise whole, wiped my lips delicately, and asked "What's for dessert?"

I'm just saying. It's all weird.

According to the rules…

1. Each player of this game starts with the “6 weird things about you”.
(OK, got that.)

2. People who get tagged need to write a blog of their own 6 weird things as well as state this rule clearly.
(I believe i have done this, wouldn't you say, gentle reader? I mean, I don't want the Meme Police after me, do I?)

3. At the end, you need to choose 6 people to be tagged and list their names. Don’t forget to leave a comment that says “you are tagged” in their comments and tell them to read your blog. (Well, duh.)

Crap. I hate choosing people. It's like netball at school all over again. Well, it'll wait.

OK, first things first -- six weird things:

1. I hold my breath when I'm close to coming, mostly when I masturbate, often when I'm having sex, but never when i use my dolphin vibrator (think Rabbit, but substitute a dolphin).

2. (Thanks to my good friend Madeline, for inspiring me to write this one:)
I will eat almost any food, except coconut, which I don't so much hate as despise. Bleugh. Also seafood (yeuch *shudder*). Apparently, I was never destined for life on a deserted island. It's why I never applied for "Survivor".

3. I still keep up with a British soap, 13 years (to the day, I might add) after leaving the windswept shores of Blighty for the warm and sultry, if somewhat unsettled Middle Eastern shores which I now call my domicile. I do it online, here.

Yes, I am a soap dork. Although, in my defence, soaps in Britain are very very different to soaps in the US. VERY. Way better. (Back me up, people.)

4. I truly enjoy writing erotica. That's not weird to y'all... but if you knew me as my family and childhood friends do... it would be! (Feel the subtext, my friends... it ripples in thunderous waves beneath the surface.)

5. I used to be so repressed about my appallingly bad love life (while i was married and not getting any), that I spurned watching a stripper at a hen night in favour of having a cup of tea in the kitchen with the bride's mother. I also used to listen to a radio sex-psychologist talk show every day in the vain hope that the hostess of the show would say something about how sex wasn't essential in a marriage, and how a marriage could be successful without emotional closeness.

I look back and I sigh heavily. I am amazed at how far I've come... and at how far I have yet to go.

6. Only two people in the world, apart from myself, know the real me. All of the real me. And they stick around, through everything, thick and thin. I'm blessed to have them in my life.

I tag:
Megan of Pick up the Pieces
Madeline Glass at Madeline's MySpace
Art of The Secret Brain
Kerry at Clothing Optional
Scarlet the Harlot and
Filthy Rotten Angel at Good Girls Don't, I do.

Stolen meme

Stolen from ArtfulDodger, who stole it from Dzer, who got it from god-knows-where. And who cares. I haven't memed in too fucking long. And i loves me a good meme.

1. Explain what ended your last relationship.
He was a self-obsessed, self-focusing and selfish, pathetic little man. There was no room for me.

2. When was the last time you shaved?
I shaved this morning. (My legs, that is. I use Veet for other, more significant locations.)

3. What were you doing at 8:00 am this morning?
Stopping at the grocery store for a pack of ciggies -- i found myself without, which would render the drive into work a nightmare of epic proportions.

4. What were you doing 15 minutes ago?
Talking on the phone. Oh, and chatting via IM with Scarlet.

5. Are you any good at math?
I've actually recently been officially diagnosed as discalculic, which is the math equivalent of dyslexic. In other words, no, i utterly and completely suck at math.

6. Your prom night?
Didn't have a prom -- I grew up in the UK.

7. Do you have any famous ancestors?
No.

8. Are you upset about Britney Spears failed marriage?
Her marriage failed? What a shock.

9. Do you know the words to the song on your Myspace profile?
Don't have a MySpace profile. I have enough trouble finding time to keep up with this blog.

10. Last thing you received in the mail?
A book, and a dolphin.

11. How many different beverages have you had today?
Coffee (two cappuccinos) and a litre of water.

12. Do you ever leave messages on peoples answering machines?
Yes. And i use my phone voice too. It's very sultry and provocative. And sometimes i make rude and perverted noise with my tongue -- but only when i know the person well enough.

13. Who did you lose your concert virginity to?
Sting - The Dream of the Blue Turtles tour, in 1986. I was 17.

14. Do you draw your name in the sand when you go to the beach?
I have done, but i don't make a habit of it.

15. What was the most painful dental procedure you’ve ever had?
Having two wisdom teeth extracted. And the dentist was a sadistic fucker too -- could have auditioned for "Little Shop of Horrors" and got the part of Orin Scrivello, DDS in a snap. And given Steve Martin a run for his money.

16. What is out your back door?
Air. I live on the fourth floor.

17. Any plans for Friday night?
I'm making a yummy goulash and plan to cuddle up with my kids and the TV.

18. Do you like what the ocean does to your hair?
No! I'm very vain about my barnet. The sea (As previously expressed, I am a Brit, we say "sea", not "ocean") makes it all salty and sticky. And not in a post-coital way, so it's no fun at all.

19. Have you ever received one of those big tins of 3 different popcorns?
I have no idea what they are. However, i absolutely love popcorn, so should anyone reading this wish to send me one, email me and we'll discuss logistics.

20. Have you ever been to a planetarium?
Not just any old planetarium. The planetarium, in Baker Street, next to Madame Tussauds. Specifically, school trips, and the laser show on a Saturday night, set to Beatles or Pink Floyd, depending on that night's operator.

21. Do you re-use towels after you shower?
Yes. I use the same towel for about a week.

22. Some things you are excited about?
I'm not excited about anything very much. A bit of peace and quiet in the coming week, since CH is off on a guys-only week's holiday.

23. What is your favorite flavor of Jell-O?
Blackcurrant. It's gotta be.

And it's called JELLY.

24. Describe your key chains.
My key chain (singular, please note) has a littel connecting thingie (to use the correct technical terminology), which can come apart if necessary (like when i've forgotten my sunglasses inthe house (can you tell that this is a frequent occurrence at Minx central?) i can leave the key in the ignition of the car and run inside and get them, without having to shlep the minxette and the young manx out of their car seats. On one side, it has my house key, and a breast cancer supporter key ring thingie, and on the other side it has a pen and my car key.

25. What is the very first song in your iTunes library?
I don't have an iTunes library, but the first song in my online music collection is "I'm sorry", by Anouk, when I sort it by date.

26. Where do you keep your change?
In my purse. (Again, in the British vernacular. For all you Yankee Doodles out there, not to mention the Canucks and the Southerners, this means what you would call a wallet. We only call 'em wallets when they are owned by men.)

27. What kind of winter coat do you own?
I have a few, actually. One is a very sexy suede jacket, sheepskin lined. One is a big, stuffy, warm coat with a fake-fur trimmed hood that makes me look a bit like an Eskimo. One is shiny and silver and has Persian lamb wool trimming (i don't know if it's real and dyed or utterly fake). And one is a North Face jacket which is so warm and cuddly, it's what i usually wear.

28. What was the weather like on your graduation day?
Graduation day for me was from university. It was a beautiful June day, sunny and warm.

29. Do you sleep with the door to your room open or closed?
Open.

30. Do you want to keep blogging?
Was there ever any doubt that i would? Just for the record, I have never contemplated giving up blogging, and i never will. I'm here, and i'm here to stay. Just in case you were wondering.