Thursday, June 5
Wednesday, June 4
As promised...
So, yes, things went a little bit mad here at Minx central, and here follows the promised explanation.
I left you guys just over a month ago with a somewhat explanatory if cryptic notice that I was being stalked IRL. I was not lying, this actually happened, and i can tell you honestly that the stress it put me under caused me to drop 7 kilos in 10 days. Best fuckin' diet i was ever on, although the side-effects of said stress were most unpleasant and i would not recommend it as an alternative to Atkins or the South Beach diet.
Ahem.
I have thought long and hard about whether i want to go into details of exactly what caused said stalking, and on careful reflection, I've decided not to elaborate too much. Basically, I did something I shouldn't have, and i was caught. When confronted, i 'fessed up, unable to continue lying anymore, and one of the parties took umbrage at that.
I, on the other hand, believe that (finally) i did the right thing. I 'fessed up to them, and to CH, and CH took it on the chin and as previously reported, we're trying to make things work between us. More of that in a minute.
However, the umbrage-taking took a most unpleasant form. Telephonic threats to publish my face, perverted photos purporting to be of me and lewd stories purporting to be about me all over the Internet so that, and I quote: "for the next ten years, any time anyone Googles your name, this will be what they see... you'll never get another job, your family will be shamed... this will reach back to [my home country] -- don't kid yourself." SMS'd threats, similar in nature. Screaming, angry and abusive phone calls.
Not fun. Not fun at all.
I accept that in doing the right thing, I'd done wrong by this person. In terms of the bigger picture, were i to have the chance to go back, I think I'd probably do the same thing. I just couldn't lie anymore. I accept that i was wrong and that i let someone down -- but i let other people down more substantially, and I owed them more. CH in particular.
I don't doubt that on some level, I "deserved" punishment. However, I don't think anyone deserves to be harassed and threatened in that way. Essentially all I had done was tell the truth. In doing so, I'd leveraged him into taking responsibility for his own actions -- including those that involved me and those that had nothing to do with me, but rather a number of other people, all of whom were also sworn to secrecy. Inasmuch as the problems that existed for him, i was far more a symptom than a reason, but he chose to make me the scapegoat, and to terrify the life out of me when things got out of hand.
In short, it was awful. I was edgy, jumpy, nervous and brittle for weeks. I am only now settling down to my previous Minxiosity.
And even that is tempered with the changes that I have made to my lifestyle. CH now knows everything that went before. Everything. We talked for a very long time after i confessed all, and to his enormous credit, he took his share of responsibility. He realises that while nothing excuses my behaviour to him in terms of my infidelity, that the problems between us came from a much deeper source, and that we needed to work together on every level in order to make things work.
The bottom line is that he still loves me. A lot. Go figure. And also, when push came to shove and i could have ended things once and for all -- i just couldn't do it. My much-vaunted procrastination obviously had deeper roots than I'd thought, ones that reached further than the more practical considerations. On some level, i must still love him, because when i had the opportunity to walk away -- I couldn't do it.
So we're trying again. This time with 100% honesty. It was at his request that i closed down the other place. Not demand, request. I told him that in future, I'd like to be able to show him the erotica I wrote; even write some for him or inspired by him.
I'm not labouring under any illusions that this will happen immediately. Baby steps... at first, anyway. The most significant and important thing is that we are finally communicating. If we can do that, then there's real hope that we can make this work and be happy together. The rush and passion of the love i had for G and for The Muse may not be present in what CH and i have, but there's something deeper, something that encompasses the years we've been together, the shared experiences and everything we have, not least our children. I at least owe it to them to give 100% of me to making my situation work. If after a while we find that we really can't make it work, then it will not be through lack of us both trying.
And that's what really matters.
I accept fully my responsibility in events leading to the problems that we had, particularly over the last three years or so. [And, yes! We missed the Minxy bloggerversary. I propose that we have a delayed celebration in a week or so, with champagne and salmon caviar. Yes?] That said, I also accept that it was a two-sided affair, so to speak, and that there was plenty of blame on both sides. Infidelity does not end a marriage... don't kid yourselves. It merely indicates the presence of far more serious issues that need to be dealt with and solved.
I do not condone it nor do i condemn it.
So, again somewhat cryptically, now you have the [parts that I am willing to reveal of the] whole story. And I'm back.
Show me some lurve?
I left you guys just over a month ago with a somewhat explanatory if cryptic notice that I was being stalked IRL. I was not lying, this actually happened, and i can tell you honestly that the stress it put me under caused me to drop 7 kilos in 10 days. Best fuckin' diet i was ever on, although the side-effects of said stress were most unpleasant and i would not recommend it as an alternative to Atkins or the South Beach diet.
Ahem.
I have thought long and hard about whether i want to go into details of exactly what caused said stalking, and on careful reflection, I've decided not to elaborate too much. Basically, I did something I shouldn't have, and i was caught. When confronted, i 'fessed up, unable to continue lying anymore, and one of the parties took umbrage at that.
I, on the other hand, believe that (finally) i did the right thing. I 'fessed up to them, and to CH, and CH took it on the chin and as previously reported, we're trying to make things work between us. More of that in a minute.
However, the umbrage-taking took a most unpleasant form. Telephonic threats to publish my face, perverted photos purporting to be of me and lewd stories purporting to be about me all over the Internet so that, and I quote: "for the next ten years, any time anyone Googles your name, this will be what they see... you'll never get another job, your family will be shamed... this will reach back to [my home country] -- don't kid yourself." SMS'd threats, similar in nature. Screaming, angry and abusive phone calls.
Not fun. Not fun at all.
I accept that in doing the right thing, I'd done wrong by this person. In terms of the bigger picture, were i to have the chance to go back, I think I'd probably do the same thing. I just couldn't lie anymore. I accept that i was wrong and that i let someone down -- but i let other people down more substantially, and I owed them more. CH in particular.
I don't doubt that on some level, I "deserved" punishment. However, I don't think anyone deserves to be harassed and threatened in that way. Essentially all I had done was tell the truth. In doing so, I'd leveraged him into taking responsibility for his own actions -- including those that involved me and those that had nothing to do with me, but rather a number of other people, all of whom were also sworn to secrecy. Inasmuch as the problems that existed for him, i was far more a symptom than a reason, but he chose to make me the scapegoat, and to terrify the life out of me when things got out of hand.
In short, it was awful. I was edgy, jumpy, nervous and brittle for weeks. I am only now settling down to my previous Minxiosity.
And even that is tempered with the changes that I have made to my lifestyle. CH now knows everything that went before. Everything. We talked for a very long time after i confessed all, and to his enormous credit, he took his share of responsibility. He realises that while nothing excuses my behaviour to him in terms of my infidelity, that the problems between us came from a much deeper source, and that we needed to work together on every level in order to make things work.
The bottom line is that he still loves me. A lot. Go figure. And also, when push came to shove and i could have ended things once and for all -- i just couldn't do it. My much-vaunted procrastination obviously had deeper roots than I'd thought, ones that reached further than the more practical considerations. On some level, i must still love him, because when i had the opportunity to walk away -- I couldn't do it.
So we're trying again. This time with 100% honesty. It was at his request that i closed down the other place. Not demand, request. I told him that in future, I'd like to be able to show him the erotica I wrote; even write some for him or inspired by him.
I'm not labouring under any illusions that this will happen immediately. Baby steps... at first, anyway. The most significant and important thing is that we are finally communicating. If we can do that, then there's real hope that we can make this work and be happy together. The rush and passion of the love i had for G and for The Muse may not be present in what CH and i have, but there's something deeper, something that encompasses the years we've been together, the shared experiences and everything we have, not least our children. I at least owe it to them to give 100% of me to making my situation work. If after a while we find that we really can't make it work, then it will not be through lack of us both trying.
And that's what really matters.
I accept fully my responsibility in events leading to the problems that we had, particularly over the last three years or so. [And, yes! We missed the Minxy bloggerversary. I propose that we have a delayed celebration in a week or so, with champagne and salmon caviar. Yes?] That said, I also accept that it was a two-sided affair, so to speak, and that there was plenty of blame on both sides. Infidelity does not end a marriage... don't kid yourselves. It merely indicates the presence of far more serious issues that need to be dealt with and solved.
I do not condone it nor do i condemn it.
So, again somewhat cryptically, now you have the [parts that I am willing to reveal of the] whole story. And I'm back.
Show me some lurve?
Labels: harassment, minx, reunited, stalker, stress, the whole story
Tuesday, June 3
i'm back
Didja miss me?
It's been a bit mad here at Minx central. I'll tell you all about it tomorrow. Promise.
Really.
(Missed y'all, though. A lot. Just so you know.)
It's been a bit mad here at Minx central. I'll tell you all about it tomorrow. Promise.
Really.
(Missed y'all, though. A lot. Just so you know.)
Labels: i'm back, minx, you're the best readers a minx could ask for
Sunday, January 27
Beating the mean nasty bullies
I hate bullies.
But to me, a bully is someone who will dish it out to me.
I've always been a 'fraidy cat. Never terribly good at confrontation, or at standing up for myself. Not that it ever stopped me trying, mind you, but I always felt very self-conscious at how flustered I got, at how emotional and distraught -- and the mean nasty bully was cool as a cucumber and packed a verbal punch that would lay me out for a week.
And then there were the after-effects.
The sick, sunken feeling in the pit of my stomach that I could have said this, should have said that, could have done it better, should have done it better. That I sounded shrill, weak and ineffectual. Pathetic and stupid.
Today, I stood up for myself to a mean nasty bully. Actually, I stood up for myself twice, but one of the people wasn't a mean nasty bully. She's a friend, who was thoughtless is all. She didn't show up at my evening in-birthday-coffee-with-friends (because I’m so damn sedate)... and she didn't even call. The reason why she didn't show up was completely valid (she's self-employed and she was on a fucker of a deadline) and she sent a message by way of her husband. (Husband is one of my closest friends, and no, I have never fucked him. And I never would, despite him being a sex god of Adonis-like proportions. Much like Al.)
But I was seriously pissed that she didn’t' even bother to make direct contact to wish me a happy fucking birthday, for pity's sake.
So I was planning on emailing her. I am, after all, self-admittedly scared -- nay, TERRIFIED -- of verbal confrontation. I had the email written in a variety of ways and nuances in my head, with a choice of colors to boot. But I hadn't quite gotten around to committing the thoughts to paper.
And then she called. Voluntarily.
And I told her, quietly, calmly and in perfect control, how upset I'd been. How hurt that she obviously thought so little of me that she wouldn't bother to even pick up a godforsaken phone to a friend to apologize. How I understood that work had to be her priority -- but that not arriving and not communicating were two very different sins of disproportional weight.
Being the good friend she is, she was absolutely aghast at how she'd acted, and took full responsibility. She apologized profusely and reassured me that I had done nothing wrong, that it was all her and that she was tremendously sorry.
"I'm so sorry I was such a crappy friend!" she cried.
"It's OK. You weren't a crappy friend, you were a good friend who did a thoughtless and crappy thing. For which you apologized and took responsibility -- and that, in my opinion, ends the matter."
Yay me.
The other event, as I described to my pal Madeline, was less smoothly executed, but effective, more or less.
A woman -- the mother of a friend of the young Manx at school, took it upon herself to phone me, and berate me for something that my son did. Not to her, or her kid (or any other kid, for that matter). Incidentally, this woman is someone for whom I have done not a few favors, entirely altruistically, and out of the goodness of my heart, including running her fucking ill-mannered offspring back home when she decides that her fucking period pain is too, too much for her. Oh, and hey kids? Learn how to say thank you when someone does you a favor, you little shits. There's a life lesson for free, from me. You certainly aren't going to learn it from your primitive cunt of a mother.
So she just decided that she had the right to call me and say "Hey, Minxie. What the fuck is wrong with you? Why did you do that? How could you? You deserve a smack upside the head."
(Seriously. Words to that effect.)
At first, I was gobsmacked so badly that beyond a few stuttered defensive retorts which sounded hollow even to my own ears, I was bereft of the power of speech.
Temporarily.
Here is where the story gets interesting. I was absolutely furious at the sheer unadulterated chutzpah of this camel-driver's second whore, and I marched around the grounds of the school, fuming and breathing fire.
Then, instead of shrinking from the confrontation, as is my wont, and allowing the rage and pain inside me to subside into self-loathing and shame, I called her back.
I had decided what I wanted to say to her, and I planned to do it in a cool, calm and collected manner. However, this asshole of a Neanderthal woman was not prepared to listen to me, so I shouted my message, making sure she could hear me, and then I hung up.
"hey, bitch, deal with your own fucking kid and leave mine to me. oh and next time you want a favor? bite me."
I still got terribly upset after the whole thing, and I cried. But that ineffectual feeling was absent from the cramp in my solar plexus, and in an odd way, despite having hated having to go through the experience, oddly I felt triumphant.
As a wise woman said to me: "I’m so glad you're sticking up for yourself. Nobody else will, and even if they did, you'd still not feel as strong as you do right now."
Amen to that, sister.
But to me, a bully is someone who will dish it out to me.
I've always been a 'fraidy cat. Never terribly good at confrontation, or at standing up for myself. Not that it ever stopped me trying, mind you, but I always felt very self-conscious at how flustered I got, at how emotional and distraught -- and the mean nasty bully was cool as a cucumber and packed a verbal punch that would lay me out for a week.
And then there were the after-effects.
The sick, sunken feeling in the pit of my stomach that I could have said this, should have said that, could have done it better, should have done it better. That I sounded shrill, weak and ineffectual. Pathetic and stupid.
Today, I stood up for myself to a mean nasty bully. Actually, I stood up for myself twice, but one of the people wasn't a mean nasty bully. She's a friend, who was thoughtless is all. She didn't show up at my evening in-birthday-coffee-with-friends (because I’m so damn sedate)... and she didn't even call. The reason why she didn't show up was completely valid (she's self-employed and she was on a fucker of a deadline) and she sent a message by way of her husband. (Husband is one of my closest friends, and no, I have never fucked him. And I never would, despite him being a sex god of Adonis-like proportions. Much like Al.)
But I was seriously pissed that she didn’t' even bother to make direct contact to wish me a happy fucking birthday, for pity's sake.
So I was planning on emailing her. I am, after all, self-admittedly scared -- nay, TERRIFIED -- of verbal confrontation. I had the email written in a variety of ways and nuances in my head, with a choice of colors to boot. But I hadn't quite gotten around to committing the thoughts to paper.
And then she called. Voluntarily.
And I told her, quietly, calmly and in perfect control, how upset I'd been. How hurt that she obviously thought so little of me that she wouldn't bother to even pick up a godforsaken phone to a friend to apologize. How I understood that work had to be her priority -- but that not arriving and not communicating were two very different sins of disproportional weight.
Being the good friend she is, she was absolutely aghast at how she'd acted, and took full responsibility. She apologized profusely and reassured me that I had done nothing wrong, that it was all her and that she was tremendously sorry.
"I'm so sorry I was such a crappy friend!" she cried.
"It's OK. You weren't a crappy friend, you were a good friend who did a thoughtless and crappy thing. For which you apologized and took responsibility -- and that, in my opinion, ends the matter."
Yay me.
The other event, as I described to my pal Madeline, was less smoothly executed, but effective, more or less.
A woman -- the mother of a friend of the young Manx at school, took it upon herself to phone me, and berate me for something that my son did. Not to her, or her kid (or any other kid, for that matter). Incidentally, this woman is someone for whom I have done not a few favors, entirely altruistically, and out of the goodness of my heart, including running her fucking ill-mannered offspring back home when she decides that her fucking period pain is too, too much for her. Oh, and hey kids? Learn how to say thank you when someone does you a favor, you little shits. There's a life lesson for free, from me. You certainly aren't going to learn it from your primitive cunt of a mother.
So she just decided that she had the right to call me and say "Hey, Minxie. What the fuck is wrong with you? Why did you do that? How could you? You deserve a smack upside the head."
(Seriously. Words to that effect.)
At first, I was gobsmacked so badly that beyond a few stuttered defensive retorts which sounded hollow even to my own ears, I was bereft of the power of speech.
Temporarily.
Here is where the story gets interesting. I was absolutely furious at the sheer unadulterated chutzpah of this camel-driver's second whore, and I marched around the grounds of the school, fuming and breathing fire.
Then, instead of shrinking from the confrontation, as is my wont, and allowing the rage and pain inside me to subside into self-loathing and shame, I called her back.
I had decided what I wanted to say to her, and I planned to do it in a cool, calm and collected manner. However, this asshole of a Neanderthal woman was not prepared to listen to me, so I shouted my message, making sure she could hear me, and then I hung up.
"hey, bitch, deal with your own fucking kid and leave mine to me. oh and next time you want a favor? bite me."
I still got terribly upset after the whole thing, and I cried. But that ineffectual feeling was absent from the cramp in my solar plexus, and in an odd way, despite having hated having to go through the experience, oddly I felt triumphant.
As a wise woman said to me: "I’m so glad you're sticking up for yourself. Nobody else will, and even if they did, you'd still not feel as strong as you do right now."
Amen to that, sister.
Labels: anger, confrontation, dealing, expression, minx, primitive cuntish second whore of a camel driver
Saturday, January 26
Birthday blues
Today is my birthday.
It's a been whole year since I had one of them.
I've found myself in more reflective state than the usual euphoria of "it's my birthday, nothing can touch me, no one can harm me". It could be to do with the effect that being back in therapy is having on me. I've managed to begin breaking down the walls of frustration and inertia that I’ve slowly been building up, cemented together by that all-purpose binder, denial.
I found that I'd managed to alienate a great many of my friends. Well, when you begin living a secret life, you automatically become more secretive. Even if in a less than demonstrative manner, you do. If you cannot share with all your close friends that you are having an affair -- which I’m currently not, but I was -- then you de facto withdraw from them somewhat.
And if you can share it, or think you can, you also need to think twice about whether you should. You will be placing a large amount of pressure upon them by requiring them to keep your secret. And if they know and are friends with your other official half -- this could be no small strain. On them, and on your relationship.
Suffice it to say -- I’ve lost a lot of friends over the last few years. I blame no one but myself, and I take full responsibility for this. And I’ve also gained a lot of friends in whom I can confide... but when they're online, it's not always the same.
I am lucky enough, however, to have retained some wonderful people in my life who know me and understand me, and have no issue with pressure or strain. And they're all coming over for coffee tonight. And since CH found out about the Muse and I, and our troubles no longer include him -- so to speak -- it's ceased to be an issue.
Said friends also know of our troubles, and are an immense comfort to me. That's why I love them -- they are there for me in every sense of the word.
I'm not having an affair currently, mostly because after the Muse and I broke up, I was so heartbroken that I couldn't envisage giving my heart to anyone else. I still feel that way. I've learned that I can care about others, but not in the same way. I won't lie -- I am not inactive in that area. But it's a physical thing, not emotional. A need I have that I simply cannot get from CH, despite him wanting to give...
But back to the dismantling of the Wall O'Inertia. I reached out to make some new friends. And people responded positively.
That amazed me.
I've spent so long being down on myself and worrying and retreating within myself that I began believing that I wasn't worthy of anyone else's love. Love of any nature. I was wrong, go figure. I mean I still have fences i need to attempt to mend -- the therapist agreed with me that if I try to mend a fence from one side, but the opposing side is not cooperative, then its probably a fence that should stay broken.
It's plucking up the courage to even try that is the problem.
But I can do it. I'm re-finding my strength.
And you all are the shizzle for helping me. My love to you all from the 39-year-old,
Minxxxxxxxx
It's a been whole year since I had one of them.
I've found myself in more reflective state than the usual euphoria of "it's my birthday, nothing can touch me, no one can harm me". It could be to do with the effect that being back in therapy is having on me. I've managed to begin breaking down the walls of frustration and inertia that I’ve slowly been building up, cemented together by that all-purpose binder, denial.
I found that I'd managed to alienate a great many of my friends. Well, when you begin living a secret life, you automatically become more secretive. Even if in a less than demonstrative manner, you do. If you cannot share with all your close friends that you are having an affair -- which I’m currently not, but I was -- then you de facto withdraw from them somewhat.
And if you can share it, or think you can, you also need to think twice about whether you should. You will be placing a large amount of pressure upon them by requiring them to keep your secret. And if they know and are friends with your other official half -- this could be no small strain. On them, and on your relationship.
Suffice it to say -- I’ve lost a lot of friends over the last few years. I blame no one but myself, and I take full responsibility for this. And I’ve also gained a lot of friends in whom I can confide... but when they're online, it's not always the same.
I am lucky enough, however, to have retained some wonderful people in my life who know me and understand me, and have no issue with pressure or strain. And they're all coming over for coffee tonight. And since CH found out about the Muse and I, and our troubles no longer include him -- so to speak -- it's ceased to be an issue.
Said friends also know of our troubles, and are an immense comfort to me. That's why I love them -- they are there for me in every sense of the word.
I'm not having an affair currently, mostly because after the Muse and I broke up, I was so heartbroken that I couldn't envisage giving my heart to anyone else. I still feel that way. I've learned that I can care about others, but not in the same way. I won't lie -- I am not inactive in that area. But it's a physical thing, not emotional. A need I have that I simply cannot get from CH, despite him wanting to give...
But back to the dismantling of the Wall O'Inertia. I reached out to make some new friends. And people responded positively.
That amazed me.
I've spent so long being down on myself and worrying and retreating within myself that I began believing that I wasn't worthy of anyone else's love. Love of any nature. I was wrong, go figure. I mean I still have fences i need to attempt to mend -- the therapist agreed with me that if I try to mend a fence from one side, but the opposing side is not cooperative, then its probably a fence that should stay broken.
It's plucking up the courage to even try that is the problem.
But I can do it. I'm re-finding my strength.
And you all are the shizzle for helping me. My love to you all from the 39-year-old,
Minxxxxxxxx
Labels: birthday, blogging, friends, friendship, minx, sex blogging
Saturday, May 26
Reflectrospective
Originally written and published in May 2006, this piece was taken down for various reasons, but is now being re-posted for posterity.
A whole fuckin' year. I can't believe it. Twelve of the longest, busiest and possibly the most significant months of my life.
A little more than twelve months ago, I had an epiphany. I suddenly broke out of my 6-8-year denial that there was something seriously amiss in my marriage. There had been little to no sex. The communication was atrocious. I was angry and bitey all the time. He was moody and passive-aggressive. I felt stifled and repressed by his control-freakishness and financial OCD. He felt strained by my constant complaining and criticisms.
And somehow I managed to convince myself that this was a perfectly acceptable state of affairs. For more than 7 years!!
The epiphany came hot on the heels of a ton of weight loss. At the end of a particularly vicious row, he'd said something along the lines of:
"You know, I don't know if I have the strength for this any more."
I'd said: "Strength for what?"
And he'd replied: "This. Us. Our marriage."
It wasn't the first time it had been said, although I'd never been the one to say it.
I'd let his control-freakishness override me until I'd become such a shadow of my former self; so much so that I could barely make a decision without his say-so. I resented his hold over the household, and I yearned for more freedom to do things according to my set of priorities, which never happened without a huge row. CH was impossible to talk to in those days, although I suppose he saw me in much the same way.
This says as much about me as him, though. In no way do I attribute the problems in my marriage to CH alone. It takes two to tango, after all. And we were dancing the Tango of the Dying Marriage. In perfect rhythm.
Twelve months ago, I looked my husband in the eye and said to him: "I don't think I love you, and I don't know if I want to be married to you anymore."
And then a week later, I met G. The first man to kiss me who wasn't my husband since 1994. The first man to show that he found me attractive since then. The first time I'd wanted to have another man find me attractive since then. Rebound? No shit. I might as well have bought myself a length of bungee cord.
G and I were so very, very wrong for each other. He lives in a different country to me. He's not of the same faith as I. He's married. With 3 children from his first marriage. He's a cross-dresser, and quite openly bisexual.
Not the most vanilla of packages, you might argue.
We began a whirlwind romance when he visited the offices of the company where I work for a training course. We chatted and talked and then went out for a drink (a cup of tea, since you ask). And then, I dropped him back at his hotel, and when he came to say goodbye, we kissed. And that's how it started.
The affair lasted a whole month, and both of us got ridiculously carried away. I was the first person to whom he come out, after his ex-wife and his current wife. This placed me in no insignificant position in his eyes. We fell in love -- him because I was so accepting of him, and me because I was dying to escape the hell through which I was living.
We built plans like castles in the air -- how he'd leave his wife, how he'd come and live here, what he'd do when he did, how I'd leave CH...
He decided, out of the blue, in early May, to tell his wife that he was sorry, but he'd met someone else and fallen in love with her. I thought nothing of this. Very, very foolishly, I say with the clarity of hindsight. I simply presumed that we were "meant to be", and that this was a natural progression, and it had to happen one day, and better sooner than later. He did it because, according to him, he felt terribly guilty at deceiving his wife -- a woman who I have never met but who he told me had very low self-esteem, and who he still loved but not in nearly as passionate a way as he loved me.
Naturally I felt superior to this female -- my arrogance was quite astonishing, actually. I truly believed that she'd roll over and acquiesce to the fact that her husband of less than 2 years was leaving her for a younger women (she is 5 years older than G, who is 9 years older than I).
This, of course, didn't happen.
G told her, and she went ballistic. I cannot blame her. As a direct result, G sent me a text message that said: "Force 9. V. Bad. Can't split. Sorry. So hard, so bad."
My immediate reactions are detailed in this post, on the blog that he and I had together. Justifiably, I was furious. I felt betrayed, humiliated, stupid, let-down, naive, foolish, immature... A prize idiot, basically. How could I have fallen for his bullshit? How? How?
And that was May 13th. On May 15th, I started Emerging on the Other Side as an antidote to how I felt, and in an attempt to re-order my life and make sense of this cataclysmic chain of events. How was it that a sensible, intelligent, mother-of-two had suddenly gone completely off the rails like that? And what the fuck was up with my marriage?
***********************************
It's been a year, people.A whole fuckin' year. I can't believe it. Twelve of the longest, busiest and possibly the most significant months of my life.
A little more than twelve months ago, I had an epiphany. I suddenly broke out of my 6-8-year denial that there was something seriously amiss in my marriage. There had been little to no sex. The communication was atrocious. I was angry and bitey all the time. He was moody and passive-aggressive. I felt stifled and repressed by his control-freakishness and financial OCD. He felt strained by my constant complaining and criticisms.
And somehow I managed to convince myself that this was a perfectly acceptable state of affairs. For more than 7 years!!
The epiphany came hot on the heels of a ton of weight loss. At the end of a particularly vicious row, he'd said something along the lines of:
"You know, I don't know if I have the strength for this any more."
I'd said: "Strength for what?"
And he'd replied: "This. Us. Our marriage."
It wasn't the first time it had been said, although I'd never been the one to say it.
I'd let his control-freakishness override me until I'd become such a shadow of my former self; so much so that I could barely make a decision without his say-so. I resented his hold over the household, and I yearned for more freedom to do things according to my set of priorities, which never happened without a huge row. CH was impossible to talk to in those days, although I suppose he saw me in much the same way.
This says as much about me as him, though. In no way do I attribute the problems in my marriage to CH alone. It takes two to tango, after all. And we were dancing the Tango of the Dying Marriage. In perfect rhythm.
Twelve months ago, I looked my husband in the eye and said to him: "I don't think I love you, and I don't know if I want to be married to you anymore."
And then a week later, I met G. The first man to kiss me who wasn't my husband since 1994. The first man to show that he found me attractive since then. The first time I'd wanted to have another man find me attractive since then. Rebound? No shit. I might as well have bought myself a length of bungee cord.
G and I were so very, very wrong for each other. He lives in a different country to me. He's not of the same faith as I. He's married. With 3 children from his first marriage. He's a cross-dresser, and quite openly bisexual.
Not the most vanilla of packages, you might argue.
We began a whirlwind romance when he visited the offices of the company where I work for a training course. We chatted and talked and then went out for a drink (a cup of tea, since you ask). And then, I dropped him back at his hotel, and when he came to say goodbye, we kissed. And that's how it started.
The affair lasted a whole month, and both of us got ridiculously carried away. I was the first person to whom he come out, after his ex-wife and his current wife. This placed me in no insignificant position in his eyes. We fell in love -- him because I was so accepting of him, and me because I was dying to escape the hell through which I was living.
We built plans like castles in the air -- how he'd leave his wife, how he'd come and live here, what he'd do when he did, how I'd leave CH...
He decided, out of the blue, in early May, to tell his wife that he was sorry, but he'd met someone else and fallen in love with her. I thought nothing of this. Very, very foolishly, I say with the clarity of hindsight. I simply presumed that we were "meant to be", and that this was a natural progression, and it had to happen one day, and better sooner than later. He did it because, according to him, he felt terribly guilty at deceiving his wife -- a woman who I have never met but who he told me had very low self-esteem, and who he still loved but not in nearly as passionate a way as he loved me.
Naturally I felt superior to this female -- my arrogance was quite astonishing, actually. I truly believed that she'd roll over and acquiesce to the fact that her husband of less than 2 years was leaving her for a younger women (she is 5 years older than G, who is 9 years older than I).
This, of course, didn't happen.
G told her, and she went ballistic. I cannot blame her. As a direct result, G sent me a text message that said: "Force 9. V. Bad. Can't split. Sorry. So hard, so bad."
My immediate reactions are detailed in this post, on the blog that he and I had together. Justifiably, I was furious. I felt betrayed, humiliated, stupid, let-down, naive, foolish, immature... A prize idiot, basically. How could I have fallen for his bullshit? How? How?
And that was May 13th. On May 15th, I started Emerging on the Other Side as an antidote to how I felt, and in an attempt to re-order my life and make sense of this cataclysmic chain of events. How was it that a sensible, intelligent, mother-of-two had suddenly gone completely off the rails like that? And what the fuck was up with my marriage?
Labels: anniversary, control, divorce, epiphany, marriage, minx, refelctrospective, sex
Sunday, May 20
Mary Poppins said it, so it must be true.
Au revoir means to meet again.
Not goodbye forever. To meet again.
Leaving the soft smile of hope in place of an empty and soul-less vacuum. And Art? You leave a vacuum behind you.
You have been my friend, my confidante, my help, my rock, my support (emotional and technical), the designer of my home (check out the fablious template, folks, it is 100% pure and original ArtfulDodger-designed) and one of the most amazing people i ever never met. (In person, anyway.)
And this is why i say to you "Au revoir", and not goodbye.
I know we'll see each other again, and i wish you and Lady L the very best until we do.
All my love,
Minxy x
Not goodbye forever. To meet again.
Leaving the soft smile of hope in place of an empty and soul-less vacuum. And Art? You leave a vacuum behind you.
You have been my friend, my confidante, my help, my rock, my support (emotional and technical), the designer of my home (check out the fablious template, folks, it is 100% pure and original ArtfulDodger-designed) and one of the most amazing people i ever never met. (In person, anyway.)
And this is why i say to you "Au revoir", and not goodbye.
I know we'll see each other again, and i wish you and Lady L the very best until we do.
All my love,
Minxy x
Labels: ArtfulDodger, Au revoir, Goodbye, Hope, Mary Poppins, minx, sex blogs, The Secret Brain
Friday, May 11
The end is nigh.
Somehow, this weekend, i am going to gather every last piece of my courage and fortified reserve, and i am going to end this constant discussion of "will we separate temporarily or for good?" I say constant, but in reality i bring it up, we talk, i get cold feet and insist on a trial separation, he stamps and yells and says "oh no, what's the point?" and i can't bear the nastiness and the tension so i give in, as i have been conditioned to do for so many years, and i can't stand it any more, and I'm so fucking miserable, and when is my conscious state going to get the webos to do what my subconscious state has been telling me -- and you all, via my fingertips, which is its main mode of escape -- that i should have done way back in March 2005 and get single already for crissakes, i mean, AAG did it, and she's my fucking heroine and i can do it, i just need the boost, i just need the push; and he took my car with my sunglasses in it this morning and i have to go into town and now i have to squint like Renee Zellwegger at the Golden Globes all the way in, which pisses me off, i should be able to know that if i leave MY sunglasses in MY car, then they will still be there when i wake up, even if i did stagger in at about 3.30 from a night of what could potentially have been debauched fun but in reality wasn't because i have the tail end of the curse, and it still bothers me -- yes, i know, the Feminists will probably revoke my membership for this, but i actually don't like the idea of a man eating my pussy when I've got the curse... sue me, bitches, see if i give a rat's ass.
Stream of consciousness from a barely conscious and somewhat tearful Minx. If ever i needed comfort and support, it's today. Love you all.
(I can hear hyenas. I see them.)
Stream of consciousness from a barely conscious and somewhat tearful Minx. If ever i needed comfort and support, it's today. Love you all.
(I can hear hyenas. I see them.)
Labels: consciousness, divorce, end, minx, overeducated skank, sunglasses
Saturday, April 14
Wet
Minx: So tell me about the coffee dude. Was sex discussed? Had?
AAG: Well, he got me all wet in the coffee place by showing me his g-spot stroking technique on my palm.
Minx: Um... AAG? If a man can make you wet by stroking your palm... fuck him senseless.
AAG: Oh honey, a stiff breeze makes me wet. YOU make me wet. Everything makes me wet.
Minx: I do? Cool.
AAG: Ice cream makes me wet.
Minx: Ice cream makes any woman in her right mind wet.
AAG: I once made a caramel sauce that practically made me come!
Minx: OK, now I'm wet.
AAG: hehehehe
Minx: this is another conversation that we have to blog
AAG: I was thinking the same thing. You take this one!
Minx: I'm ROFLMAO here. You're too kind. Will do it now.
AAG: Good! Well I'm wiped. I gotta zzzzzzz -- after all that palm rubbing...
AAG: Well, he got me all wet in the coffee place by showing me his g-spot stroking technique on my palm.
Minx: Um... AAG? If a man can make you wet by stroking your palm... fuck him senseless.
AAG: Oh honey, a stiff breeze makes me wet. YOU make me wet. Everything makes me wet.
Minx: I do? Cool.
AAG: Ice cream makes me wet.
Minx: Ice cream makes any woman in her right mind wet.
AAG: I once made a caramel sauce that practically made me come!
Minx: OK, now I'm wet.
AAG: hehehehe
Minx: this is another conversation that we have to blog
AAG: I was thinking the same thing. You take this one!
Minx: I'm ROFLMAO here. You're too kind. Will do it now.
AAG: Good! Well I'm wiped. I gotta zzzzzzz -- after all that palm rubbing...
Labels: AAG, Always Aroused Girl, blogging, coffee, g-spot, IM, minx, sex, sex blogging, sex blogs
Monday, April 2
And another thing....
Happy Passover to my Jewish-identifying readers. Yo bitchez. Pass the matzo, dude.
An early happy Easter for those who identify with resurrection and fluffy chickies. (No, that does not mean Always Aroused Girl in a marabou-trimmed thong and her trademark lovely smile.)
Whether you eat chocolate that is kosher for Passover, or chocolate pieces that once made up an outsize egg-shape, containing all kind of goodies that you stole from your niece/nephew/brother/daughter... enjoy it, and think of your Minx. I love you all.
In fact, you know what? Do that any and every time you eat chocolate. Because... well, just because.
I'm all about the multi-culturalism, me. Enjoy, y'all.
Minx
An early happy Easter for those who identify with resurrection and fluffy chickies. (No, that does not mean Always Aroused Girl in a marabou-trimmed thong and her trademark lovely smile.)
Whether you eat chocolate that is kosher for Passover, or chocolate pieces that once made up an outsize egg-shape, containing all kind of goodies that you stole from your niece/nephew/brother/daughter... enjoy it, and think of your Minx. I love you all.
In fact, you know what? Do that any and every time you eat chocolate. Because... well, just because.
I'm all about the multi-culturalism, me. Enjoy, y'all.
Minx
Labels: Chickies, Easter, Fur, Judaism, Matzo, minx, Passover
Sunday, April 1
Still here
Still here. Still married. Still suffocating.
I'm waiting until after the celebrations and family of this month have subsided. And then, dear hearts, this foot is goin' down.
He has to go. He has to get up and leave me the fuck alone before i spontaneously combust. And he will only do that when i get wicked medieval bitch crazy on his ass.
So, you know, I'm gathering my strength and resources.
I apologise if i disappoint on the writing front. But sometimes real life is more important than blogging. I ask your patient indulgence.
Minxy
I'm waiting until after the celebrations and family of this month have subsided. And then, dear hearts, this foot is goin' down.
He has to go. He has to get up and leave me the fuck alone before i spontaneously combust. And he will only do that when i get wicked medieval bitch crazy on his ass.
So, you know, I'm gathering my strength and resources.
I apologise if i disappoint on the writing front. But sometimes real life is more important than blogging. I ask your patient indulgence.
Minxy
Labels: divorce, MILF, minx, suffocating
Saturday, February 24
Crappy anniversary
Yes, as of today, CH and I have been married for 9 years.
Please god this will be our last anniversary together as a married couple.
I can't bear it any longer.
Please god this will be our last anniversary together as a married couple.
I can't bear it any longer.
Labels: anniversary, depression, minx, separation
Wednesday, February 14
Minx loves Art too!
Having said I'd be absent, i certainly seem to be posting quite often.
Well, what is a Minx supposed to do? Not respond when an allegedly tall and (I prefer to think of him as) dark hunk of burning manhood creates you a graphic sweetheart Valentine candy image?
I think not. It would be terribly rude.
(Not to be confused with being pervy and debauched -- that I do with absolutely no problem at all.)
This is a little note to thank the gorgeous, sexy and unbelievably talented Artful Dodger for thinking of a Minx on Valentines Day... and no, no-one else did.
Art -- I heart you too. A lot. (Not forgetting Lady L.)
Later, taters.
Labels: MILF, minx, Valentine, Valentine's+Day
Sunday, February 11
Parting shot
This is too fucking funny for words. And so true!
My results:
You are Mystique
Click here to take the Supervillain Personality Quiz
See you soon, behbehs... rawr.
My results:
You are Mystique
| Sometimes motherly, sometimes a beautiful companion, but most of the time a deceiving vixen. |
Click here to take the Supervillain Personality Quiz
See you soon, behbehs... rawr.
Labels: evil, evil+minx, MILF, minx, Mystique, super+villain
Saturday, February 10
Yes, yes... i'm still alive
Sorry folks. It's been a smidge hectic here at Minx central, with no real decisions being made one way or the other, and my life in the sort of limbo that would fit very nicely into a Caribbean beach party at sunset.
So much is happening, i think it's fair to say that this Minx is just about ready to put her claws on hold for a little while.
However, i must stress -- i mean little while. I'm not disappearing, i'm not removing the blog, and i will be back. The claws are on hold only, not hung up.
Watch this space.
So much is happening, i think it's fair to say that this Minx is just about ready to put her claws on hold for a little while.
However, i must stress -- i mean little while. I'm not disappearing, i'm not removing the blog, and i will be back. The claws are on hold only, not hung up.
Watch this space.
Friday, January 26
Happy fucking birthday
The Minx turns 38 today, folks.
Do a good turn, and wish a Minx "Happy Birthday" in the comments. She's a bit down and blue at the moment, but hopes very soon to be feeling better. To mis-quote an American TV classic -- things sure have changed here at Minx Central.
More soon.
Do a good turn, and wish a Minx "Happy Birthday" in the comments. She's a bit down and blue at the moment, but hopes very soon to be feeling better. To mis-quote an American TV classic -- things sure have changed here at Minx Central.
More soon.
Monday, January 1
Happy New Year, folks
Hope you all had a great time last night, partying and having fun. This post marks the third year displayed in my archive list, which just fucking rocks.
My new year starts on a grey and wet day, and i have only one resolution. You'll hear about it when i've carried it out.
I'm thinking i'll return to blogging here a lot more once i have.
Those of you who know me well, and have done for a long time can probably guess to what I refer. Yup, epoch-in-my-life, corner turning stuff here. I will still be the Evil Minx, but i will be a new Minx too.
All will be explained. I'd rather not go into specifics yet, but i will say that I'm preparing myself properly.
I love you all. I hope you'll all stick with me. You've been my strength, my light, my heart and my hope for nearly two years now, and you mean so very much to me.
I raise my glass of single malt and drink a slightly belated toast to you all.
May your new year bring you everything you could ever want, and desire, and need.
To my Minerva, health and long life.
To Art and Lady L - love, peace and togetherness.
To Amal - peace between our peoples, and love to you.
To the Corporal - a fuckwit-free year, and love to you and the family.
To Doug - all that you dream.
To LingLing - that you should come back and kick some ass.
To the Muse - Peace and all that you hope for.
To Tricia - fully restored health for your son, and peace of mind for you.
To O - all that your heart desires, and an end to the pestilence.
Here's to 2007.
My new year starts on a grey and wet day, and i have only one resolution. You'll hear about it when i've carried it out.
I'm thinking i'll return to blogging here a lot more once i have.
Those of you who know me well, and have done for a long time can probably guess to what I refer. Yup, epoch-in-my-life, corner turning stuff here. I will still be the Evil Minx, but i will be a new Minx too.
All will be explained. I'd rather not go into specifics yet, but i will say that I'm preparing myself properly.
I love you all. I hope you'll all stick with me. You've been my strength, my light, my heart and my hope for nearly two years now, and you mean so very much to me.
I raise my glass of single malt and drink a slightly belated toast to you all.
May your new year bring you everything you could ever want, and desire, and need.
To my Minerva, health and long life.
To Art and Lady L - love, peace and togetherness.
To Amal - peace between our peoples, and love to you.
To the Corporal - a fuckwit-free year, and love to you and the family.
To Doug - all that you dream.
To LingLing - that you should come back and kick some ass.
To the Muse - Peace and all that you hope for.
To Tricia - fully restored health for your son, and peace of mind for you.
To O - all that your heart desires, and an end to the pestilence.
Here's to 2007.
Sunday, December 24
Holiday season again: what goes around comes around
Once again, I realise that it's nearly Chrimbo, and I am behind on sending greetings to my friends.
You must forgive me. Living where I do, it's quite easy to forget that it even happens. Apart from the legions of friends who travel off to exotic places where Christmas is a wonderful experience -- New York, London, Lapland (huh?) -- and then come back and bring me chocolate, and the almost deathly silence from our O/S office, you wouldn't know it was any different.
In fact, before i began blogging, i don't think i ever sent a Christmas card in my life. Maybe one or two. But not many, and certainly not regularly.
Anyway, that said, this post is in lieu of a Christmas card to my wonderful readership and blogfriends. I was going to write individual messages to all, but then something came to my attention which has dampened my somewhat exuberant spirit.
My friend, Minerva, has been a very good friend to me since i began blogging nearly two years ago. I stood by her, even went to visit her in London when she'd had chemo, and then later, when she was post-op, in hospital.
I rejoiced along with her and her legions of fans and friends, when she was pronounced free and clear by the doctors.
Unfortunately, lightning has returned to strike twice. Minerva has cancer again, having beaten the first round. And this time, it's inoperable.
Please people, go over to her site, and wish her well. She needs as many positive vibes as possible to beat this fucking awful disease into submission.
To all of you out there whom I love, which is the vast majority of you, whatever you celebrate, or even if you don't, please accept my very warmest love and wishes for a great 2007.
You must forgive me. Living where I do, it's quite easy to forget that it even happens. Apart from the legions of friends who travel off to exotic places where Christmas is a wonderful experience -- New York, London, Lapland (huh?) -- and then come back and bring me chocolate, and the almost deathly silence from our O/S office, you wouldn't know it was any different.
In fact, before i began blogging, i don't think i ever sent a Christmas card in my life. Maybe one or two. But not many, and certainly not regularly.
Anyway, that said, this post is in lieu of a Christmas card to my wonderful readership and blogfriends. I was going to write individual messages to all, but then something came to my attention which has dampened my somewhat exuberant spirit.
My friend, Minerva, has been a very good friend to me since i began blogging nearly two years ago. I stood by her, even went to visit her in London when she'd had chemo, and then later, when she was post-op, in hospital.
I rejoiced along with her and her legions of fans and friends, when she was pronounced free and clear by the doctors.
Unfortunately, lightning has returned to strike twice. Minerva has cancer again, having beaten the first round. And this time, it's inoperable.
Please people, go over to her site, and wish her well. She needs as many positive vibes as possible to beat this fucking awful disease into submission.
To all of you out there whom I love, which is the vast majority of you, whatever you celebrate, or even if you don't, please accept my very warmest love and wishes for a great 2007.
Thursday, November 9
Stolen meme
Stolen from ArtfulDodger, who stole it from Dzer, who got it from god-knows-where. And who cares. I haven't memed in too fucking long. And i loves me a good meme.
1. Explain what ended your last relationship.
He was a self-obsessed, self-focusing and selfish, pathetic little man. There was no room for me.
2. When was the last time you shaved?
I shaved this morning. (My legs, that is. I use Veet for other, more significant locations.)
3. What were you doing at 8:00 am this morning?
Stopping at the grocery store for a pack of ciggies -- i found myself without, which would render the drive into work a nightmare of epic proportions.
4. What were you doing 15 minutes ago?
Talking on the phone. Oh, and chatting via IM with Scarlet.
5. Are you any good at math?
I've actually recently been officially diagnosed as discalculic, which is the math equivalent of dyslexic. In other words, no, i utterly and completely suck at math.
6. Your prom night?
Didn't have a prom -- I grew up in the UK.
7. Do you have any famous ancestors?
No.
8. Are you upset about Britney Spears failed marriage?
Her marriage failed? What a shock.
9. Do you know the words to the song on your Myspace profile?
Don't have a MySpace profile. I have enough trouble finding time to keep up with this blog.
10. Last thing you received in the mail?
A book, and a dolphin.
11. How many different beverages have you had today?
Coffee (two cappuccinos) and a litre of water.
12. Do you ever leave messages on peoples answering machines?
Yes. And i use my phone voice too. It's very sultry and provocative. And sometimes i make rude and perverted noise with my tongue -- but only when i know the person well enough.
13. Who did you lose your concert virginity to?
Sting - The Dream of the Blue Turtles tour, in 1986. I was 17.
14. Do you draw your name in the sand when you go to the beach?
I have done, but i don't make a habit of it.
15. What was the most painful dental procedure you’ve ever had?
Having two wisdom teeth extracted. And the dentist was a sadistic fucker too -- could have auditioned for "Little Shop of Horrors" and got the part of Orin Scrivello, DDS in a snap. And given Steve Martin a run for his money.
16. What is out your back door?
Air. I live on the fourth floor.
17. Any plans for Friday night?
I'm making a yummy goulash and plan to cuddle up with my kids and the TV.
18. Do you like what the ocean does to your hair?
No! I'm very vain about my barnet. The sea (As previously expressed, I am a Brit, we say "sea", not "ocean") makes it all salty and sticky. And not in a post-coital way, so it's no fun at all.
19. Have you ever received one of those big tins of 3 different popcorns?
I have no idea what they are. However, i absolutely love popcorn, so should anyone reading this wish to send me one, email me and we'll discuss logistics.
20. Have you ever been to a planetarium?
Not just any old planetarium. The planetarium, in Baker Street, next to Madame Tussauds. Specifically, school trips, and the laser show on a Saturday night, set to Beatles or Pink Floyd, depending on that night's operator.
21. Do you re-use towels after you shower?
Yes. I use the same towel for about a week.
22. Some things you are excited about?
I'm not excited about anything very much. A bit of peace and quiet in the coming week, since CH is off on a guys-only week's holiday.
23. What is your favorite flavor of Jell-O?
Blackcurrant. It's gotta be.
And it's called JELLY.
24. Describe your key chains.
My key chain (singular, please note) has a littel connecting thingie (to use the correct technical terminology), which can come apart if necessary (like when i've forgotten my sunglasses inthe house (can you tell that this is a frequent occurrence at Minx central?) i can leave the key in the ignition of the car and run inside and get them, without having to shlep the minxette and the young manx out of their car seats. On one side, it has my house key, and a breast cancer supporter key ring thingie, and on the other side it has a pen and my car key.
25. What is the very first song in your iTunes library?
I don't have an iTunes library, but the first song in my online music collection is "I'm sorry", by Anouk, when I sort it by date.
26. Where do you keep your change?
In my purse. (Again, in the British vernacular. For all you Yankee Doodles out there, not to mention the Canucks and the Southerners, this means what you would call a wallet. We only call 'em wallets when they are owned by men.)
27. What kind of winter coat do you own?
I have a few, actually. One is a very sexy suede jacket, sheepskin lined. One is a big, stuffy, warm coat with a fake-fur trimmed hood that makes me look a bit like an Eskimo. One is shiny and silver and has Persian lamb wool trimming (i don't know if it's real and dyed or utterly fake). And one is a North Face jacket which is so warm and cuddly, it's what i usually wear.
28. What was the weather like on your graduation day?
Graduation day for me was from university. It was a beautiful June day, sunny and warm.
29. Do you sleep with the door to your room open or closed?
Open.
30. Do you want to keep blogging?
Was there ever any doubt that i would? Just for the record, I have never contemplated giving up blogging, and i never will. I'm here, and i'm here to stay. Just in case you were wondering.
1. Explain what ended your last relationship.
He was a self-obsessed, self-focusing and selfish, pathetic little man. There was no room for me.
2. When was the last time you shaved?
I shaved this morning. (My legs, that is. I use Veet for other, more significant locations.)
3. What were you doing at 8:00 am this morning?
Stopping at the grocery store for a pack of ciggies -- i found myself without, which would render the drive into work a nightmare of epic proportions.
4. What were you doing 15 minutes ago?
Talking on the phone. Oh, and chatting via IM with Scarlet.
5. Are you any good at math?
I've actually recently been officially diagnosed as discalculic, which is the math equivalent of dyslexic. In other words, no, i utterly and completely suck at math.
6. Your prom night?
Didn't have a prom -- I grew up in the UK.
7. Do you have any famous ancestors?
No.
8. Are you upset about Britney Spears failed marriage?
Her marriage failed? What a shock.
9. Do you know the words to the song on your Myspace profile?
Don't have a MySpace profile. I have enough trouble finding time to keep up with this blog.
10. Last thing you received in the mail?
A book, and a dolphin.
11. How many different beverages have you had today?
Coffee (two cappuccinos) and a litre of water.
12. Do you ever leave messages on peoples answering machines?
Yes. And i use my phone voice too. It's very sultry and provocative. And sometimes i make rude and perverted noise with my tongue -- but only when i know the person well enough.
13. Who did you lose your concert virginity to?
Sting - The Dream of the Blue Turtles tour, in 1986. I was 17.
14. Do you draw your name in the sand when you go to the beach?
I have done, but i don't make a habit of it.
15. What was the most painful dental procedure you’ve ever had?
Having two wisdom teeth extracted. And the dentist was a sadistic fucker too -- could have auditioned for "Little Shop of Horrors" and got the part of Orin Scrivello, DDS in a snap. And given Steve Martin a run for his money.
16. What is out your back door?
Air. I live on the fourth floor.
17. Any plans for Friday night?
I'm making a yummy goulash and plan to cuddle up with my kids and the TV.
18. Do you like what the ocean does to your hair?
No! I'm very vain about my barnet. The sea (As previously expressed, I am a Brit, we say "sea", not "ocean") makes it all salty and sticky. And not in a post-coital way, so it's no fun at all.
19. Have you ever received one of those big tins of 3 different popcorns?
I have no idea what they are. However, i absolutely love popcorn, so should anyone reading this wish to send me one, email me and we'll discuss logistics.
20. Have you ever been to a planetarium?
Not just any old planetarium. The planetarium, in Baker Street, next to Madame Tussauds. Specifically, school trips, and the laser show on a Saturday night, set to Beatles or Pink Floyd, depending on that night's operator.
21. Do you re-use towels after you shower?
Yes. I use the same towel for about a week.
22. Some things you are excited about?
I'm not excited about anything very much. A bit of peace and quiet in the coming week, since CH is off on a guys-only week's holiday.
23. What is your favorite flavor of Jell-O?
Blackcurrant. It's gotta be.
And it's called JELLY.
24. Describe your key chains.
My key chain (singular, please note) has a littel connecting thingie (to use the correct technical terminology), which can come apart if necessary (like when i've forgotten my sunglasses inthe house (can you tell that this is a frequent occurrence at Minx central?) i can leave the key in the ignition of the car and run inside and get them, without having to shlep the minxette and the young manx out of their car seats. On one side, it has my house key, and a breast cancer supporter key ring thingie, and on the other side it has a pen and my car key.
25. What is the very first song in your iTunes library?
I don't have an iTunes library, but the first song in my online music collection is "I'm sorry", by Anouk, when I sort it by date.
26. Where do you keep your change?
In my purse. (Again, in the British vernacular. For all you Yankee Doodles out there, not to mention the Canucks and the Southerners, this means what you would call a wallet. We only call 'em wallets when they are owned by men.)
27. What kind of winter coat do you own?
I have a few, actually. One is a very sexy suede jacket, sheepskin lined. One is a big, stuffy, warm coat with a fake-fur trimmed hood that makes me look a bit like an Eskimo. One is shiny and silver and has Persian lamb wool trimming (i don't know if it's real and dyed or utterly fake). And one is a North Face jacket which is so warm and cuddly, it's what i usually wear.
28. What was the weather like on your graduation day?
Graduation day for me was from university. It was a beautiful June day, sunny and warm.
29. Do you sleep with the door to your room open or closed?
Open.
30. Do you want to keep blogging?
Was there ever any doubt that i would? Just for the record, I have never contemplated giving up blogging, and i never will. I'm here, and i'm here to stay. Just in case you were wondering.
Labels: meme, minion, minx, overeducated skank, personal, survivor
Monday, October 30
Sugasm 52 (it's been a while)
The best of the sex blogs this week by the bloggers who blog them. Spotlighting the top 3 posts voted by Sugasmer participants.
And lookit, y'all -- they voted for the Minx! Woo-hoo!
Want in Sugasm #52? Sure ya do. Submit a link to your best post of the week using this form.
And lookit, y'all -- they voted for the Minx! Woo-hoo!
Want in Sugasm #52? Sure ya do. Submit a link to your best post of the week using this form.
Participants, repost the linklist within a week and you’re all set.
This Week’s Picks
Waxed (http://edinerotica.blogspot.com)
“After polishing off my testicles and perineum, Sam started on the area above and around my cock.”
Office Inspiration (http://emergingontheotherside.blogspot.com)
“Your moans are quite loud now - presumably because everyone else has left the building and you don’t care.”
Home cooking, part 2 (http://erotischism.blogspot.com)
“A moan escaped her as the smooth richness hit her.”
Mr. Sugasm Himself
Porn Denial (http://sugarbank.com)
Editors’ Choice
The Taste Tester Sugasm Special! (http://www.maevebeckham.com)
Long time Sugasm readers will remember Maeve’s blog The Taste Tester. Her entries were a regular part of our sexy posts. Now she is releasing her blog in novel form entitled The Taste Tester. To show our congratulations we’ve made her editors’ choice this week. She has graciously put a full chapter of her book in a special post for Sugasm readers. Thank you Maeve and congratulations again!
Sex News, Reviews & Interviews
Half-Nekkid Sex Blogger (http://www.tarasnaughtyshop.com)
Sexy Interview - Nikki Benz (http://shayssexcolumn.blogspot.com)
Venus Berlin Show Report - Porn (http://sextoysinsider.com)
NSFW Pics (& two videos)
The Good: Joon Mali and Lily Koh. The Bad: Sexy Suzie. The Ugly:Ex-Wife From Hell (http://virtual-sex-tourist.com)
Half-Nekkid Thursday: Haunted WebMistress (http://www.taratainton.com)
Hanna Hilton (http://www.ddgirlsblog.com)
Happy HNT - Speed cropping video (http://darkside-journey.blogspot.com)
Kim Harlow Pin Up Artist (http://eroticandy.blogspot.com)
A new kind of post (http://www.internetisforporn.com)
Welcome to “Marital Bliss” by Marital Bliss (http://sexblogwelcome.blogspot.com)
Sex & Politics
“Black” Webcam Chathosts (http://www.model-chat.com)
Getting Laid, Getting Tested, Getting AIDS (http://smutandsteff.com)
Help Fight the War on Porn (http://blog.babeland.com)
In Bush Country Books on Sex Don’t Sell (http://suzanneportnoy.com)
Thoughts on Sex and Relationships
5 things you don’t know about me (http://hard-and-fast.blogspot.com)
Don’t fuck the pregnant lady! (http://lustylady.blogspot.com)
A New Monogamy (http://www.longrelationships.com)
Strike one (http://junohenry.wordpress.com)
Swinger vs. Poly: What IS Polyamory? Part 2 (http://perverselypoly.blogspot.com)
Tarts in Tartan, Part 1 (http://thelibertinewife.com/blog)
You Are Not Alone If You Are Alone (http://www.teen-porn-site.com)
BDSM and Fetish
Disciplinary (http://gentlygently.blogspot.com)
Distracting myself (http://sugarbutch.blogspot.com)
In which I dream of Dr Butler’s cunt (http://thediaryofanenglishrose.blogspot.com)
Isabella’s Eyes - Part XI (http://nyc-urban-gypsy.blogspot.com)
Make-Up Sex is the Best Sex (http://everythingoze.blogspot.com)
Pink Champagne (http://aliceinawonderbra.blogspot.com)
A Week in July (http://asparkle2.blogspot.com)
Your suggestion is my command (http://bratmaster.blogspot.com)
Erotic Writing and Experiences
24 (http://confessions112.blogspot.com)
Fusionnement (http://www.easilyaroused.co.uk)
I Crave Touch (http://totalsensuality.blogspot.com)
Just A Few (http://principles-of-lust.blogspot.com)
Licking my pussy (http://dirtylittlecockslut.blogspot.com)
New Found Skin (http://engrailed.com)
On The Sidewalk (http://makemycopcome.blogspot.com)
Lori - Part 1 (http://masterenigma.blogspot.com)
Touch me (http://nocloudnine.blogspot.com)
The Wave (http://baring.blogspot.com)
Labels: minx, sex, sex blogging, sex blogs, sugasm
